Truth! You Can't Handle the Truth!?

Does anyone catch the movie reference here – if so, let me know. I can see the scene between Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson but can’t remember the movie. I’m not a big Tom Cruise fan – he’s just too much – too pretty, too excited and too weird. However, I remember the line from this movie and decided to use it for this post because it seemed appropriate.

How many of us CAN handle the truth? I would like to think I could but within the last year and a half, I don’t know that I could have and apparently so have other people. I don’t want to imply that anyone has lied to me but instead I would say they have withheld information. I still haven’t decided whether this is a good thing or not.

First example – the car accident. This was the beginning. One of the nurses asked me how they could contact Jim – I told her and she asked if it was ok to tell him that I “just” had a broken ankle so he wouldn’t panic. I said yes as I figured one family car accident in a day was enough. Jim’s reaction (understandably) was to take his sweet old time to get to the hospital. This just about drove me crazy – so I kind of wish that she would have shared a bit more of the truth with him.

I also remember lying in the emergency room with people busy around me and watching a police officer quietly lead Jim away. I had a good idea of what they were talking about. The police officer told Jim about the fatalities and suggested that he not tell me and keep TV and newspapers away from me for a while. I already knew about this – after all, I was there.

The next person to get in on the action was my orthopedic surgeon who proceeded to release information to me a little bit at a time over the next year. He told me I would walk again and I believed that I would be ok – back to my old self in a couple months. As time went on, this is what I learned to be the truth:

Ø I would never be “ok” again. I would walk, but there would be two more surgeries, months of physio and pain with every step. I would limp for the rest of my life. I will need more surgeries. I will get arthritis (I already have).
Ø My injuries were so bad that they almost amputated my foot.
Ø I would never do many of the things I enjoy again – hiking, walking my dog, curling, golf, tennis, canoeing, strolling through foreign cites for hours, dancing, maybe my job, etc.
Ø I would rely on others for help for most things – going to the bathroom, taking a shower, going grocery shopping, cleaning my house, caring for my son, etc.

The list goes on but I’m sure you get the idea. I know I’m dragging on here, but I do have a point. I’m guessing that not knowing the whole truth immediately was a good thing in a way. If someone would have told me all of the above and that I would never run and jump with my son, but don’t worry about that because your son will have cerebral palsy and will have to struggle for everything – I don’t know what I would’ve said, done or felt. Maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to work so hard with my own physio and recovery. Maybe I would have had other dark thoughts. I just don’t know.

As for Bennett, it seems people hold back the truth here too. A few weeks ago we brought him to the hospital as he was miserable and had a fever. I was extra concerned because of the recent MRI results that showed hydrocephalus. I shared this with the doctor on call. Bennett had a chest xray done and the doctor came back and told us everything was fine and that he had an ear infection and would prescribe antibiotics. We were relieved and went home. Bennett had his regular doctor’s appointment a couple of weeks later. The doctor said he had received paper work from the hospital that indicated that he had been treated for pneumonia! I said “No, he had an ear infection”. The doctor said “No, it says here ‘the early stages of viral pneumonia’ – there’s nothing about an ear infection. It doesn’t matter because the antibiotics used are the same.”

So, once again someone figured that I “couldn’t handle the truth” and that “ear infection” would be better than “pneumonia”.

What’s my point, you ask? Well it’s this. I guess that in some ways it can be good to not share the whole truth with someone. However, it has all left me so suspicious and paranoid that people aren’t telling me things – especially when it comes to Bennett. I’m so worried that something else will come out of left field and knock the wind out of me – something that somebody knew.

So, what do you all think? Is it always better to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Do you want the truth – can you handle it? I’d love to hear any opinions – you can vote in the poll too.