A Rather Silly Dilemma

I'm hoping you will help me out with my latest dilemma. As the title indicates, in the grand scheme of things, my problem is rather silly. However, I still have to make a decision so I'm reaching out for assistance.

Jim and I will be attending a wedding this weekend. It will be the first time since the accident that I've had to dress up. That is an ordeal in itself because I'm not really the kind of person that likes dressing up. Despite that, a night out would be fun. I plan on wearing a dress or a skirt - I haven't decided yet. This means that all the scars on my leg will be visible. That however, is not my problem. I don't have any concerns about showing off my scars. I think scars are a memorial to what we've lived through.

My dilemma revolves around shoes. As most of you know I have some difficulty walking. Most of the time I can walk without any aid but I still use my crutches in the middle of the night and in the morning and I use my cane in winter. Normally I wear a sturdy hiking boot that provides great support for my foot. Dress shoes, do none of this. I have three pairs of shoes to choose from which are pictured above. I would be most comfortable in my hiking boot but will be the first to admit that it would look a bit ridiculous with a dress. The other two shoes present a problem. The loafer is comfortable, but only for about 1-3 hours. The sandal used to be comfortable but now gives me great pain - I could last about 1 hour in it. Wedding celebrations are at least a few hours so if I wear the loafer or the sandal I will be in a position where I can barely walk at the end of the evening. My cane will not provide enough support but my crutches would. For some reason I am horrified at the idea of bringing my crutches to the wedding.

My questions for all of you are:

#1. What shoe should I wear?

#2. If I wear the loafer or the sandal, I should bring my crutches but for some reason I'm really embarrased to do this - would you be? Is wearing either of these shoes worth the pain it will bring?

#3. I also find crocs comfortable - would any of you wear them to a wedding?

I know there might be some other shoe options out there. Kara has made some good suggestions. I haven't looked yet. Basically I need a shoe that is wide and offers thick sole support. I really shouldn't care about what people think of my footwear but I do. Crazy I guess.

You can also vote in my poll on the top right corner of the page.

The Boys

On Friday morning I had to work. This left Jim alone with our two boys - Bennett and Murphy. Jim spends a lot of time with his family - all of us. However, since we've had Murphy, he has not really had an opportunity to experience the joy of having both of them all to himself for an extended period of time.

As it turned out, the boys had a great morning together. Although Jim would be the first to admit that being alone with a two year old and a puppy is a bit much. Fortunately, Grandpa came over to help for a little while. They spent a good part of the morning outside enjoying a beautiful spring day. By the time I got home, everyone was in good shape, dressed and the bed was made!

I think Jim should do this more often!! (ha - just kidding Jim!)

What's New?

Sometimes I can't believe my life. For the last week I have been walking around in a state of disbelief. Last Friday I was informed by a doctor that I must have my gall bladder removed and it must be done soon. Granted, I have been having some stomach issues but I assumed stress was to blame. Fortunately, from what I've been told, I can live quite well without my gall bladder. So, I guess that's a good thing. If the surgery gets rid of my stomach problems, then I guess that's another good thing.

However, the fact that I will be having my FIFTH surgery in 2.5 years is almost too much. In fact, it will be my EIGHTH surgery in the last 6 years. That's more than 1 surgery a year!!! What the heck is going on? Believe it or not, I have always been a very healthy person. I can't believe that in less than 4 weeks I will once again be strapped to an operating table. I'm getting to know the surgery staff in our local operating room way too well. It's pretty bad when the nurses see you and say "Hey, you're back again!".

Maybe I could get the doctor to just remove all my non-vital organs while he's there and save myself from future operations. After all, I still have my tonsils and my spleen.

Seriously, I can't even believe it....

Advice Please?

We have a problem on our hands. His name is Bennett and he's two. Other than that what's the problem you ask? Well, for the longest time we were encouraging Bennett to throw - usually just balls. This is a great motor skill for him to have and it took a while to develop.

However, we now have a problem because Bennett is throwing everything! He likes to throw his toys and Murphy's toys down the stairs, he throws his soother, he throws his cup on the floor. We tell him not to do it but it's not getting us anywhere. This morning he threw a toy phone and hit Murphy on the head - when we got to daycare he threw his soother about 3 times sending some poor little boy chasing after it before I managed to snatch it and put it in my pocket - and then tonight he threw his spoon and hit Jim in the face.

He's not throwing stuff in anger - I think he's just doing it for something to do and because he can. We just don't know what to do. We've ignored the behaviour, we've left his toys at the bottom of the stairs, we've shaken our finger in his face while sternly telling him that what he's doing is bad. What makes it more complicated is that we're also throwing stuff for Murphy - you know - that common game of fetch that one often engages in with canine companions?

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? Anyone?

Easter Weekend

It was a pretty quiet weekend for all of us. Jim managed to get in one more snowmobile trip - can you believe it? April 11, and he was on a snowmachine! On Sunday we had a little Easter Egg hunt. As you can see from the video Bennett wasn't too excited. He mainly seemed annoyed that the Easter Bunny had left stuff laying around! Ahh...a kid after my own heart!

We took advantage of the nice weather and Jim put Bennett's bike together. You can see that he's much more excited about that.

Yeah, Yeah I know....he's not wearing a helmet. We'll get him one this weekend before we take him out again.

And finally, a couple pictures of Murphy. First of all sleeping on our couch - just one of the many places I DON'T want him. And next, a picture of how NOT to house break your puppy. That Jim and his crazy ideas!!

What to Say

I’ve been putting off this blog post for quite a while now. Procrastination has always been a problem for me. But I’m sure most of you will understand. Bennett has made tremendous progress in so many areas but one. He can’t or will not speak. Not a word. He makes noises, lots of noises and he can sign – lots of signs. He is very good at communicating what he wants. But he does not speak and nobody knows why. It could be a motor issue but he’s always been a great eater – no problems with biting, chewing, swallowing. He no longer drools – we gave up the daily bib more than a year ago. It could be that he has damage to the part of the brain that controls speech – apparently it’s hard to tell.

So, we don’t know why he can’t speak. What’s extra frustrating is that he has said some words – words like – mama, dada, ranma, ranpa, mummu, poppa, bath, bum, snow, more. He will say them a few times and then stop and we might not hear them again for months. In spite of the lack of spoken words, he continues to develop his language skills. In fact he has always tested as age appropriate when it comes to receptive language. This is a good thing and on most days it’s the only thing I’m hanging on to.

Recently Bennett was assessed for a communication book and device. He received both on Thursday. Now, we have to learn how to use them. I was worried that the book and device would be too much but all of his therapists agree that he is ready and capable. He is the youngest child from our Children’s Treatment Centre to be given a communication device. Despite the fact, that I wish we didn’t have this machine in our house, I’m looking at it as a good sign.

People often say to me that he will talk one day and that when he starts, he won’t stop and I’ll wish for those quiet times again. I know they’re trying to be kind but as any mother of a non-verbal child knows, the desire to hear your child’s voice is so strong that you can’t even begin to describe it. The fear that he will never speak literally takes my breath away. I haven’t given up - I hope I never will. I know that he’s only two and still has lots of time. I have heard many stories of late talkers and they do give me hope. Although I know that just because something happens for someone else doesn’t mean it will happen for me. But, oh, how I hope it does….

How To Spell Trouble

I'm not an advocate of anyone getting a dog for their kids. Getting a pet is and should be a family decision that everyone agrees on. Murphy is our dog (mine and Jim's) - we're hopeful that he and Bennett will become friends but we did not get Murphy for Bennett.

Fortunately, it seems that our two babies have fallen in love. Murphy follows Bennett everywhere and Bennett's face lights up when he sees the puppy. However, I think their friendship is going to cause some problems as the two of them seem to get each other in trouble a number of times throughout the day. If Murphy wants into the bathroom, Bennett will gladly open the door for him. If Bennett starts pulling toys out of the toybox, Murphy will quickly jump in to help.

This morning, Bennett decided to share his pacifier with Murphy. This resulted in a very early morning race through our house. It was very amusing to watch a rather large man chase a rather small puppy - both of them at top speed. Jim eventually caught him but it took a while. Bennett and I agreed that it was probably one of the funniest things we've ever seen.

Big Day

On Tuesday, September 19, 2006 I left for work. As many of you know, I never made it there and my life has since changed forever. Tomorrow, Tuesday, April 7, 2009 I will once again leave my house in the morning for the first time in 2.5 years and go to work.

Although I am returning to my job, it will be very different. As a result of my physical limitations I will never be able to do the job I loved in the same way. I will have some different duties and a schedule with progressive work hours and a shorter work day. To be honest, I don't know what to expect and fortunately my employer knows this and is willing to try anyway. I have no doubt that as excited as I am to return to work I also expect tomorrow to be a difficult day in many ways. After all the last time I sat in that office in an offical capacity, I was a physically fit, completely able-bodied person who had no idea what was going to happen next. For the first time I will drive by the scene of the car accident by myself.

Despite all that, I'm anxious to work outside of the home again. To prove to myself that I am still capable of supporting my family financially if required. To enjoy the comraderie that happens in a workplace. To sink my teeth into something else other than my injuries and cerebral palsy.

Wish me luck please?

What The.....!!!

It's April and much of our snow had melted - I could even see parts of my lawn! And then yesterday morning we woke up to a fresh blanket of snow. We're all getting pretty tired of it. However, for Murphy, it was his first real snowfall. As you can see in the video below, he enjoyed it!