One Day At A Time

Christmas 2010

2011-01-08T11:20:00.001-05:00

This is a bit late but it seems like everything I do lately is late! Hopefully I'll get caught up with time soon and finally mail the rest of the Christmas cards that are sitting in our van.

Surprisingly I decided to make another video for Christmas - can you tell that I've renewed my subscription to One True Media?

Oh and as a side note - the handsome young man (with not a lot of hair) in a couple of the pictures with Bennett is our wonderful cousin Ryan and he is single - just thought I would mention it (you're welcome Lucy)!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T19:26:00.002-05:00

I for one am not too sad to say good-bye to this decade. It has been filled with some wonderful experiences (getting married, having Bennett, etc) but it has also had some very difficult, life altering, hard to get up in the morning moments.

For the next year and next decade I am going to try and take some advice from Bennett and William W. Purkey who said:

"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth."

I hope you'll try too.

Oh, how Bennett loved those belly dancers....

Well....

2010-12-30T11:04:00.001-05:00

...it has been awhile. Like most people, we've been busy with life. My one and only New Year's resolution is more blogging.

December has pretty much been a blur. Since we had such fun at Disney last year we thought we would go again and bring my parents. What we thought would be a relaxing, fun vacation in a warmer climate turned into a bit of an ordeal. On our first day there my father ended up in the hospital with an infected foot and had to have surgery - he was released the day before we left. Overall he had some great treatment and a good experience with Florida's healthcare system - having insurance helped of course. He's happy to be home and the foot is getting better. Hopefully we'll be able to convince him to try Disney again someday.

It was a crazy week with my dad in the hospital and Bennett and my mother both celebrating birthdays. Neither went as planned but that's life I guess. Fortunately, Auntie Bonnie managed to save the day with a quick birthday party the day we left Orlando.

If I were to ever get a tattoo it would probably include the words "*#it Happens". Those who know me well would know that's pretty much the theme of my life - especially for the last four years. Bennett found out when I was 5.5 months pregnant that life can be one heck of a bumpy ride. So you might as well hang on tight, try your best and squeeze in fun whenever you can.

And that's pretty much what we did on our Florida vacation...enjoy the video and the song.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Santa Claus Parade

2010-11-16T15:24:00.004-05:00

We went to our local Santa Claus Parade this past weekend. Bennett was so excited all week and would ask about it every morning. It was cold so we bundled him up in last year's snow suit (which is too small - I must go shopping soon). I even made hot chocolate with milk on the stove and filled our thermos. Bennett was so very patient as we waited for 45 minutes for the parade to start and then another 2 hours for it to finish. He cheered and waved at every float and happily sipped away at his hot chocolate milk. As you can see in the video above, he was so star struck by Santa at the end that he waved with his right hand!

Late Halloween

2010-11-09T16:04:00.004-05:00

Ahoy there maties - or whatever it is that pirates say! This is so very late isn't it? But still worthwhile I think. Bennett is pretty much the cutest pirate to ever walk the plank. I truly believe Johnny Depp should be nervous.

Bennett had a great Halloween. He had two parties because he goes to two schools! On the actual evening he had a lot of fun knocking on doors. He was actually rehearsing before he left. He would walk up to a wall, knock on it and say "Trick or Treat, then candy, then thank you, bye, bye, next house". By the time it was all done, he was back at home and had even more fun handing out the candy. He kept looking out the window saying, "more kids, I hope so".

He is turning into a bit of a chatterbox (music to the ears)! I'm going to try to get some it on video soon.

Another Good-bye

2010-10-30T14:55:00.003-04:00

A couple days ago we had to say good-bye to another beloved member of our family. My parents had to make the difficult choice to let go of their dog, Katie. She was 12 years old and appeared to be dealing with old age well until a few days ago. She was a good dog - a funny dog - who was very set in her ways. She was a real homebody who refused to go out in the rain, walked around every puddle and would sit in a vehicle for hours if she thought someone might be leaving her. She will be missed so much by everyone.

After Bowser died, the vet's office sent us the story about Rainbow Bridge. If you're a dog lover, you've heard of this special place where our pets wait for us to join them. I do hope such a place exists and if it does I have no doubt that our sweet Bowser was waiting there for Katie with a football in his mouth and the full body wag that he was so well known for.

Good-bye Katie Jones...

The Wiggles

2010-10-24T20:20:00.006-04:00

A few nights ago we drove 3 hours to go see the Wiggles!! Bennett likes the Wiggles but I think Jim and I were more excited than he was. When we finally we got to the arena Bennett took a quick walk around, started to cry and insisted on going home. We spent the first 20 minutes of the show in the lobby waiting and gently urging him to go inside. He finally started to reconsider when he heard the music start. Once we got to our seats Bennett had a great time and danced his little bum off!!

The Wiggles put on a very good show. We all loved it and I'm kind of sad that by the time they make it back to Canada, Bennett will likely be too old to go again.

Sam - the Yellow Wiggle. Bennett's jaw pretty much hit the floor when he walked right beside us.

The only Wiggle that wasn't there was Murray. His replacement was great though. Of course Dorothy the Dinosaur, Henry the Octopus and Wags the Dog made appearances.

Anthony - the Blue Wiggle. He carried Dorothy all around the arena floor. Those guys must burn a few thousand calories during each show.

Dancing to Hot Potato.

More dancing...this is my favourite video.

The Wiggles

If you ever have a chance to go to see the Wiggles, I highly recommend making the effort. It was a lot of fun.

Thanksgiving

2010-10-16T13:10:00.008-04:00

Last weekend was Thanksgiving here in Canada. It was also the last weekend for camping so that's where we cooked and ate our dinner. We used the nifty fireplace oven pictured above to cook both the turkey and the sweet potatoes.

The hardest part was keeping the temperature stable but it worked out.

Maybe not the fanciest table setting but hey - we WERE camping! And the food was good.

Of course the meal was finished with everyone's favourite (except mine) pumpkin pie (store bought - we had to draw the line somewhere). Afterwards we were busy bringing the leftovers back into our trailer when I must have become distracted while daydreaming about turkey sandwiches. Without really thinking I put the turkey down on the picnic table bench and let Murphy out. You can probably guess what happened next....Murphy got the turkey...the entire thing was in his mouth (he is a big dog). Jim managed to get it out mostly intact but it was too late to salvage anything. I love dogs but I have my limits. On the bright side, at least we all got to eat and didn't have to deal with leftovers. And Murphy had a good sleep...

The next day Bennett got to enjoy even more pumpkin pie (homemade this time) when our neighbours had their dinner. Lucky guy!

New House

2010-10-07T20:05:00.006-04:00

Just a few pictures of the new house. We've been here for 1.5 months now and I think it feels like home for all of us. Bennett settled in very quickly - he even refused to drive by the old house the day after we moved. Murphy took a little longer and paced for the first few nights. We haven't unpacked much but fortunately there's lots of room to hide the boxes. We have yet to hang any pictures and there are only curtains in the living room and blinds in our bedroom. We've met most of our new neighbours who seem very nice although we really miss our old neighbours.

Lots of work left to do but we have lots of time to do it!

2010-10-04T15:06:00.008-04:00

It was a cold weekend but we couldn't resist squeezing in another weekend of camping. I love this time of year - fall should last at least 3 more months! We have one more weekend left and that will be it for the season. The last weekend is Thanksgiving and once again we plan to try and cook and eat our dinner outdoors.

Bennett had a great time - as usual and enjoyed stopping (a lot) to examine every pine needle, leaf, blade of grass, etc. He also had fun rolling in the grass - a new favourite. You can watch his antics as well as enjoy some of his developing language skills in the video at the bottom.

I promise to deliver a couple more updates this week including the promised house photos as well as a JK update.

10 Years

2010-09-30T15:05:00.001-04:00

Today is our 10th Wedding Anniversary. We've been though a lot in that time - especially the last four years. Hopefully the next ten are less eventful!

Here's my tribute to Jim...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Fall Camping Trip

2010-09-27T21:07:00.016-04:00

For those of you that enjoy pictures, you're in for a treat. Despite the horrible weather forecast we decided to go camping anyway and as you can see, we had a great time. In the first picture Bennett does not look impressed - he's just trying to figure out who is taking our picture (a kind fellow hiker - the only one we saw on the trail that day). The fall colours are starting to peak and provided spectacular views despite the clouds. However, going on a fall colour tour with a husband who is colour blind, an impatient 3 year old and a dog who is mainly interested in tearing trees apart, is underwhelming to say the least.

We had record rainfalls at the end of last week. Lots of rain equals lots of puddles - the final result - a VERY happy Bennett who managed to find every single one!

Junior Kindergarten

2010-09-22T20:23:00.006-04:00

It sure has been awhile! All is well for those readers who might be worried. We've just been very busy with the move and with Bennett starting school. We also had major computer issues that we had to get fixed. Fortunately, they were able to save all my photos but unfortunately everything else was wiped out. I've got a lot of stuff to put back on the computer and have to search out all my favourite sites again. Definitely a lot of catching up to do blog wise - both reading and writing!

But in the meantime, here's a quick Bennett update. Back on September 9, he started JK. I've had a hard time wrapping my head around it though and I'm still not convinced that sending him is the right thing to do. He's only 3.5 and if he was born when he should have been born or even a few days later, we wouldn't even be considering school for another year. Because of the way the system works here, Bennett will pretty much always be the youngest kid in his class. This is a disadvantage for sure - combined with the fact that he has other disadvantages leads to a very stressed out mother. I'm not so worried about this year but more so, the long term effects of always playing catch up.

As of now, this is what Bennett's school day is like...In the mornings, he goes to the JK at our local Children's Treatment Centre where they follow a regular curriculum but pull the kids out to get their therapy. There are only 6 kids in the class with a teacher, an educational assistant and a couple of students. In the afternoons, I bring Bennett to our community school where he has an educational assistant but is in a class with 21 other kids.

So far, he seems to really like it and is adjusting well to the full days (9am-3:20pm). I drive him to the CTC in the morning and pick him up to bring him to his other school. At the end of the day he takes a very short bus ride home. I think that is one of his favourite things - on his first day riding the bus he had a HUGE smile on his face when the door opened. He's also been assigned a helper who's a little boy in grade 5. Bennett thinks the world of him and talks about him all the time.

I just don't know what will happen. We thought we would give it a try and see how it goes. We also plan on giving Bennett a lot of afternoons off - time when he can hang out with family and do other stuff. This JK transition has been hard - mainly on me.....

Pictures of the new house next....stay tuned....

End of July

2010-07-27T17:00:00.001-04:00

Wow - time flies! It has been a busy couple of weeks. Jim is in the middle of a crazy work marathon and I've been busy doing things related to my car accident. On top of that we move in 3.5 weeks! The blog posts will probably be few and far between but who knows. Here are some pictures and videos from the last couple weeks.

Here's Bennett helping to wash the vehicles. (As you can see, he's really not that much help).

Bennett and Grandma practicing counting to twenty in French. He did a lot better the first couple of times. It seems Murphy wants to learn as well...

Speaking of Murphy....here's a picture of him napping with Jim. I don't know how he stayed balanced up there.

And now for some pictures of the house. Not much to look at. The outside is done except for some trim work and our garage door. Inside, we have drywall. They are supposed to paint and texture our ceilings this week. I was reassured by the builder yesterday that I was ok to hire movers. I've started the packing - there's no looking back now...

Living Room

Dining Room & Kitchen

Main Bathroom

Second Bathroom

Den

Rec Room

Short Weekend

2010-07-11T20:35:00.000-04:00

Our weekend was a bit shorter than usual but we managed to do a lot anyway. We visited Grandma and Grandpa at the park where they're camped and did a lot of swimming and playing at the beach. In the video you can see Jim throwing Bennett in the air. Grandma requested that Jim do the same for her - he ignored her request as politely as he could. Bennett made a new friend in a little girl named Amy who brought him rocks and clams as gifts - a lot of rocks and clams that I discreetly put back in the water whenever they turned their backs. If you look carefully at the fourth picture you can actually see a clam trail. They worked hard on a river through the sand and both of the kids were quite detailed in their instructions to Jim- they had him hauling water and digging trenches! Afterwards we went out for supper followed by chocolate ice cream - Bennett fell asleep 5 minutes after getting in the van and slept all the way home.

Today we visited our local farmer's market before going to Mummu and Poppa's. Bennett pigged out on a croissant that he refused to share with me. I consoled myself by purchasing fresh local strawberries, peas and asparagus. After hanging out with Mummu and Poppa we grabbed Murphy and headed to a local lake for more swimming! I believe Bennett is becoming a little fish - he's doing a great job moving both legs and arms - Jim was even able to let him go and he could tread water (with the life jacket on).

We came home and enjoyed our fresh vegetables and then went out for ice cream one more time! Oh yeah - we camped in our trailer in the driveway for two nights!! I think we're all tired - Murphy and Bennett are both sleeping - I don't think Jim and I will be far behind.

One more thing, here's the latest picture of the house project. It's coming along I guess - I've been assured that it will be finished in time for us to move. That happens in 40 days....

Imagination

2010-07-09T15:50:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time there was a Mama snake and then there was a Dada snake. Soon afterwards came a baby snake who had to wear big boy underwear because there were no diapers left. They were all tired so they went to bed but couldn't get to sleep because they needed pillows and a blanket. When they woke up they were hungry and all shared an apple and some apple juice. Then the baby snake decided he needed a bath but changed his mind and took a shower instead. After drying off with a towel, he went shopping with Dada snake and bought a new sports car. It's a good thing Bennett went along because he had all the money to pay the salesman who just happened to be an orange octopus.

After driving home in the new car Dada snake and baby snake played some soccer. I guess the weather changed quickly because the soccer ball became the base for a snowman. At some point the pillow and money became a bug. Just as quickly, Dada snake ended up with a boo-boo on his head and the only thing that could make it better was a Dora band-aid.

And then the Wiggles came on TV.

The End (A story brought to you by Bennett and sponsored by Play-dough)

Note From Barbara: It's amazing what Bennett has to say when you pay attention....

My Summer List

2010-07-08T15:05:00.000-04:00

I guess at this point we are well into summer. In fact it seems that every store I've been to lately has summer stuff on clearance. However, it's still early so I thought I would put in writing a list of things I want to do this summer. Hopefully I'll get to do all of them but I guess I should keep in mind that we're building a house and moving in 43 days.

Some Camping - we just traded in our old trailer for a new one and I can't wait to try it out!

We won't be able to camp until later in August - so until then I want to do lots of Driveway Camping. We won't be able to do that at the new house.

Picnics - I used to love going on picnics. I'm determined to go on more - and find an insulated picnic basket somewhere.

Share a couple pitchers of my homemade Sangria with friends.

Go out to a local Italian bakery that serves Gelato and reminisce about our trip to Italy.

Sit on my bench on my Front Porch with a glass of wine and my new iPad (that Bennett and I are just loving!!) I won't have a front porch at the new house.

Barbeque using a new recipe at least once a week.

GOLF - Please will someone - anyone (except you Tiger Woods) please take me golfing!! It's one the few recreational activities that I can still do - although I have to take a cart and I can't hit the ball as far anymore.

Enjoy sitting by the Campfire - and make Smores with Bennett.

Bring Bennett and Murphy swimming at the Beach. (We've already done this about 5 times but to use a favourite word of Bennett's - I want MORE!

Lots of Watermelon!!

The picture above is from "Operation Tulip Rescue" that took place a couple weeks ago. Bennett is always willing to help!

What To Say

2010-07-05T21:30:00.001-04:00

I apologize in advance for my excessive and inappropriate use of quotation marks in this post. I wish I were better with words.

We went to a Canada Day party on July 1st. It was a beautiful day and it was nice to see friends we hadn't seen in awhile. It was fun watching Bennett hang out and play with the other kids. I so enjoyed N and C's patience as Bennett grabbed them by the hand and dragged them away for walks around the house. I laughed while J, a good friend of Jim's humoured Bennett by going in the water at least three times to retrieve the ball that he kept throwing in. And it felt good to watch one of our hosts gently take Bennett into the house so he could visit with the cat. It was a party where we knew a lot of people well and they knew us and our story.

However, there were other people there - people we don't really know and who don't know our story. Before we left, Jim and I discussed how we were sure Bennett's brace would raise questions - and it did. When a stranger asks about the brace I usually give a very simple answer like "it helps him walk". That's all they need to know - we don't owe anyone an explanation and most of the time I'm not interested in educating people. At the party we were asked twice about the brace and both times we were quite honest with our answer, "he has cerebral palsy". Both times, people answered with "oh...it doesn't look like anything's wrong with him".

As many people who read this blog can imagine, that response didn't sit well with me. I know it's meant well - I get why they say it and why they think it's ok. When we first heard the words "cerebral palsy" our heads were filled with uneducated and preconceived images that were pretty bleak to us as the time. Bennett's face is just one glimpse of cerebral palsy.

Honestly I'm not sure why it bothers me (and I want to emphasize that it bothers me a bit - not a lot) when people say that it doesn't look like anything is wrong with Bennett. In a way I think it's because the words diminish and simplify all that he (and we) have worked so hard to accomplish and future challenges that we face. I also don't like to hear that something is "wrong" with Bennett. Cerebral palsy is part of who he is and it is not "wrong". It just is.

I really don't know what would be the right thing to say - I don't even know what I want to hear. I know I don't want to hear "I'm sorry" - look at Bennett - he doesn't need pity (neither do we) and there's nothing to be "sorry" about. I just don't know....

Cookies

2010-06-30T17:30:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon Bennett and I took advantage of the cool weather and baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies. This time we baked them from scratch rather than asking the Pillsbury dough-boy for help. We both pigged out on these delicious treats which without a doubt ruined our supper. However, life is too short to not have at least one supper ruined by warm chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven topped off with a glass of ice cold milk!

Weekend

2010-06-27T20:00:00.000-04:00

A few updates I guess. First of all, the house. As you can see we now have windows, doors and shingles! There is also a lot of brick sitting in front of the house so I hope that will be added this week. It seems things are moving along - I assume construction is going well but I'm anxious to speak with the contractor tomorrow about a bizarre conversation I had late Friday afternoon with the company that is supplying our bathroom fixtures. For some reason they called me to ask about installing the whirlpool tub. Why anyone would think I could be of help in this particular area is beyond me. We move in 54 days - hopefully the tub will be installed....

Jim brought both Murphy and Bennett swimming - at the same time - more of a challenge than you might think. Murphy and Bennett both had a great time - Jim - maybe not so much but we are all grateful that he's even willing to take on that kind of challenge.

Bennett also took some time out to visit Mummu and Poppa this afternoon where he got to hang out in the Jeep for awhile. As you can see he was also giving Poppa some advice on how to drive.

I Fixed The Graduation Video!

2010-06-23T15:09:00.002-04:00

Scroll down a few posts and check out Bennett's graduation video. Finally fixed thanks to YouTube!

Potty Update

2010-06-22T16:24:00.000-04:00

We are still pretty much at the same place we were when I last posted about the potty. Bennett still refuses to sit on the potty for Jim or I and we haven't pushed the issue much. I thought I had a great idea when I decided to try the whole "Bennett's a big boy" now trick. One day I decided to pull out a pair of "big boy underwear" in hopes of convincing him to give up diapers. I even chose the most colourful pair believing for some reason that when it comes to underwear, the flashier the better. However, I gave up on this plan almost immediately when he excitedly grabbed the underwear, pulled it over his head and paraded around the house laughing hysterically. So much for that idea....

Now on to Plan B which I came up with during a particularly restless night recently. It's funny how great you think an idea is at 2am in the morning. I was even tempted to wake Jim but quickly came to the conclusion that wasn't nearly as great an idea - in fact I'm sure it would have been a very bad one. Anyway, I've decided I might try another method - one that I'm sure many parents have resorted to (whether they admit it or not) - BRIBERY! My plan goes like this - I will buy a wide variety of small treats and toys for Bennett and wrap them in brightly coloured paper (once again flashier is better right?). I will make a chart - not a small one but a large one - maybe I'll even put glitter on it because who can resist glitter? Bennett will get to select a sticker every time he sits on the potty and if he has results he can chose a treat from our potty treasure box! After a couple days I will tell him that we no longer have diapers and while he's home he will go without. In the meantime I will have stocked up on paper towel. It sounds perfect doesn't it - how can it possibly fail?

Another House Update

2010-06-21T16:05:00.001-04:00

It's starting to take shape. The roof is on and some of the plumbing and electrical has been done. Hopefully the picture at the end of this week will show even more progress - maybe even shingles or windows?

We move in just under 9 weeks! I guess I should start packing at some point....

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T18:29:00.000-04:00

Happy Father's Day Everyone!!!

Poppa with Bennett (one day old)

Grandpa with Bennett (2 hours old)

Daddy with Bennett (7 months old)

Graduation Day

2010-06-17T16:45:00.002-04:00

Bennett graduated yesterday from his preschool program at our local Children's Treatment Centre. It was a fun morning - the kids performed a couple songs - received their certificates and then had a snack. Next year Bennett will be attending a morning Junior Kindergarten class in the room right across from the one he was just in. They'll have a hard time keeping him out I think - he loved the therapists and the staff and will miss them all.

Here's a video of Bennett receiving his certificate. At first he was reluctant but then warmed up. I hope the video works - blogger has been giving me a hard time.

Now he's off for summer vacation - let the good times roll! (I've always wanted to use that expression but it never seemed appropriate - it doesn't now either but oh well)

House Update

2010-06-16T18:53:00.002-04:00

It certainly is starting to look more and more like a house isn't it? We walked around again yesterday and it has been fun seeing what the rooms are going to be like and envisioning what we'll need and where we'll put things. Our current home isn't very big so we'll have to buy a bit of extra furniture when we move - not much but at least a some stuff for our living room. I'm just really excited to have two bathrooms and a garage I can park the vehicle in!

We move in less than 10 weeks!!

Come back tomorrow for exclusive video and pictures from Bennett's preschool graduation!!

What's New With Murphy?

2010-06-14T15:04:00.007-04:00

I'm sure that's a question you've all been dying to ask. The answer is not too much. He's still 80 pounds of pure action. However, he is now probably a bit lighter since he got neutered this morning. I think he was surprised since Jim had the great idea to tell him that he was only going to the vet to get "tutored" (sorry to subject you to an old joke). Let me tell you - I'm perfectly OK with a bit less testosterone around here. I just hope his recent modification will make him a bit less inclined to "practice" his love with everyone and everything. Apparently he has a lot of love to give and he's not shy or gentle about it. We used to call Bowser the "Love Sponge" because he would snuggle up beside you and soak up all the attention he could. I don't even know what to call Murphy. His philosophy is entirely different in that he thinks it's perfectly acceptable to force his love upon you while insisting that you return it completely. It can be exhausting....

But just look at that face. He's a boy who will get by with his looks and his infectious zest for life rather than brains or charm. As I've said before he's hard to resist. Even our former obedience instructor is taken with him. We have every intention of repeating our class but decided not to join again in April because of everything going on with the house. Instead we'll go in September once we've moved and Murphy's testosterone levels have dropped a bit. The obedience instructor called to inquire after Murphy - not once but twice! She also put him in her day planner to call again in September. It must have been that spectacular kiss he gave her the first night.

Today a young woman who lives a couple houses down from us was walking her 7 month old female Golden Retriever. We were chatting and she commented how jealous she was that Murphy was such a great walker - in fact her exact words were "he's so nice and calm walking beside the stroller - my dog is crazy". I quickly reassured her that what she witnessed was a complete aberration - or perhaps (I gently suggested) she was hallucinating. Then we both tried to reassure each other that the theory that Golden's don't mentally mature until they're three is entirely false.

Yeah right.....

The pictures above were taken after Murphy got home from the vet. He looks so pathetic it's enough to break your heart. He made a brave effort to steal Jim's shoe but promptly fell asleep with his head jammed inside.

Technical Difficulties

2010-06-14T14:48:00.003-04:00

I apologize for the time between updates but we've been having some technical difficulties. Part of the problem is a much required servicing of our current computer. The other problem was caused by my iPod Touch - a recent purchase that has brought me much joy. However, that joy turned to frustration after I downloaded the latest version of iTunes and everything froze - again and again. So, after much time spent uninstalling and reinstalling applications and many hours with an Apple technician, it appears the problems have been resolved (mostly)

That's a really good thing because last week I convinced myself that purchasing an iPad would be a great idea for both Bennett and I. My decision was reinforced this morning after reading Ellen's post about Max and his iPad. In fact, many parent bloggers - especially those whose children have communication difficulties have had great things to say about the iPad. I was speaking with a couple of his assistive communication therapists this morning about the iPad and once I convinced them that I was planning on using it to supplement Bennett's current device - not replace it - they quickly came on board and agreed with me that the worst case scenario would be that I would end up with the iPad all to myself (I could live with that).

More updates and pictures soon!

Botox Again?

2010-06-09T19:59:00.002-04:00

Today Bennett had an appointment at our local Botox clinic for a follow-up to the injections he received in February and a reassessment for future treatment. As I've mentioned in the blog, we saw very little improvement from Botox. If you ask Jim and I we would say we saw nothing.

From the beginning, we were concerned about Botox treatments. Many parents have seen fantastic results and the injections have helped so many kids. Despite our reservations, that's why we were willing to try it at least once for Bennett. I wasn't sure what the doctor would recommend this time but I knew if he suggested it again we would have a tough decision. Despite the fact that it is commonly used for cerebral palsy and has been for a number of years, Botox still hasn't been approved specifically for CP. There are no long term studies (that I have been able to find) that indicate the effects of repeated treatment.

Needless to say, I was relieved when the doctor said no more Botox - at least for now. He'll be reassessed in January and once again Jim and I will make our decision at that time. The doctor remains a bit puzzled by Bennett's unique gait which is not characteristic of hemiplegia at all. He thinks the biggest factor affecting Bennett's walk is tightness in his hip and has recommended a stretching and exercise program to help with this. Hopefully that will help enough and we'll be able to avoid the Botox decision again.

He Amazes Me

2010-06-07T19:49:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I'm guilty of making the same mistake that I'm always worried other people will make - underestimating Bennett. I know he is smart and I know he doesn't miss anything but sometimes he comes out with stuff that blows my mind. Here are some examples from the last few days.

1. A couple weeks ago we were driving out to look at some trailers - it's out of town so it's a road we've only travelled a couple of times. Way off in the distance was some kind of large mining contraption - considering I grew up and live in a mining town with many friends and family who work in the industry it's kind of strange that I don't know what it is - but for the sake of this story we'll call it a contraption. Anyway, Bennett wanted to know what it was so Jim told him and added that sometimes Daddy works there. A few days ago we were driving the same road again and I could see Bennett watching out the window. Sure enough when we drove by the contraption, Bennett pointed it out, said "Dada" and signed "work".

2. Bennett received a couple new books recently. We were looking through them the other night. One page had a picture with the Sun, Moon, stars, Mars, Saturn and Earth. Bennett pointed out the Sun and Moon (both words he can say). For the heck of it I asked him where "Earth" was. It's something we've gone over maybe once or twice so I wasn't surprised when he pointed to it right away and tried to say it. However, I was surprised with the next word that came out of his mouth - he pointed at the Earth again and said "Home". Wow - that's a pretty big concept for a three year old to get. Especially when it's not something you've ever discussed before.

3. On the weekend we had to go and select a new bed. Our current one is only a year old but we're having problems with the mattress that are covered under warranty. We were sitting and waiting in a large room while they searched for our information. Bennett - never content to sit for long was wandering and flirting with the sales staff. An older woman sitting across the room asked me if Bennett was wearing a brace because he had broken his ankle. My response was a simple "No" because I don't owe anyone an explanation even if they are a nice old lady. Bennett - obviously an eavesdropper came racing over to me, picked up my right leg and pointed out my ankle to the nice old lady. I honestly don't know if I've ever even told Bennett that I broke my ankle - he knows that mommy has a boo-boo but we've never given him the details.

He honestly just blows my mind. I think because we don't have a lot of words coming out we assume that maybe he's not paying attention or doesn't understand sometimes. Obviously, we couldn't be more wrong.

Train Museum

2010-06-06T13:00:00.001-04:00

Bennett is a great train enthusiast so yesterday we joined Mummu and Poppa and brought him to a local train museum. I think we were all surprised by the variety and quality of exhibits they had. We rushed through the museum part thanks to Bennett who was in a hurry to get outside and look at the real trains once he realized he couldn't play with the model ones inside.

Most of the train cars were open for us to go inside and Bennett had a great time exploring. There was a lot of happy squealing going on. He even got to pick out a conductor's hat - that he wore all the way home and a tiny model train engine.

On another note, our beloved Mummu has been diagnosed with cancer and will be having surgery tomorrow morning. We have no doubt that she's a tough cookie who is going to be just fine but any well wishes and prayers would be appreciated.

House Report

2010-06-05T19:34:00.004-04:00

You didn't think I would leave you all hanging without house updates? Here's the latest photo. As you can see, there's a lot of lumber and a structure that is beginning to look more and more like a house. The upstairs portions are all framed and we walked around a bit getting a feel for the rooms. Bennett showed us his room but we were a bit confused as he didn't indicate the master bedroom. Perhaps Jim and I will be on our own when we move? Somehow, I doubt it...

We move in 11 weeks!

As a bonus, here's a picture of Murphy. Ok, so he's not as photogenic as Bennett, but he's still pretty handsome.

Progress

2010-06-03T10:23:00.004-04:00

Recently someone asked if I had spoken with Bennett's speech therapist about her thoughts on how he is progressing with speech. The answer is no. I haven't asked and I have no intention of ever asking that question. It's not that I'm not interested. We work hard on his speech and all of his goals and we have made progress. However, I don't care to know the therapist's opinion on the subject. I want her help, her guidance, her support. But I'm not interested in knowing her predictions about where it will all lead.

I already know where we are -Bennett has a severe speech delay. I know we have years of speech therapy ahead of us. Will Bennett ever have truly functional speech - I don't know and frankly I don't want to know and I don't think I need to know right now. So, you see, I don't have my head completely buried in the sand. To be honest, I don't want to know what she thinks about his progress because I don't know how I would cope if she said something bad. I don't know how I wouldn't let that consume me and strip away any of the hope that I am currently clinging to. And I really believe that she would just be making a guess - an educated guess of course - but ultimately still a guess.

I would rather just keep moving along like we are now, celebrating his progress and each new word we hear (and we are now well over 100!). What will happen, will happen anyway - I don't need to know now. I'm quite content to leave my heart open and my head where it is - firmly stuck in the sand with one eye peeking out.

Edited: I had to come back and add a picture of Bennett and I making pizzas last night. He did at least 50% of the work with his right hand! And they were great pizzas...I''m going to get him to cook more often :D

The Finish Line

2010-05-31T21:04:00.003-04:00

Yay! I've done it! Since I started this blog I've always wanted to try posting everyday. It has been easier that I thought. In fact, I have found it easier to post daily rather than just a few times a month. Thank you to everyone who came by to visit and/or leave comments.

I don't know what will happen in June. I'm definitely aiming for more regular posting. Maybe not every single day but often.

Hopefully, you'll stick around!

What Would You Prefer?

2010-05-30T19:18:00.002-04:00

Today is May 30th - the second last day of my bloggy marathon. I'm quite proud that I have managed to post every single day - only one more to go. Now it's YOUR turn to tell me what you would like from this blog. I've set up a poll and I would like you to vote. How often do want updates? Are you sick of me and my life? Have you enjoyed daily posts?

I'm not saying that I'll do what the poll says - I'm not a politician after all! However, I'm curious to know how this daily posting thing has gone over. Even if you're a lurker - and I'm sure there are a few of you - please feel free to vote.

So, take a moment and check out the poll on the upper right hand corner of the blog. Please exercise your right to vote! :D

House Update

2010-05-29T19:12:00.007-04:00

We have walls and the beginning of our garage! Not much else to say other than we move in 12 weeks...

Since that is pretty boring here are a couple pictures of Bennett and his new train table. It has been a big hit!

And finally a picture of Bennett cooling off again. This time he enlisted Daddy to dump about 20 watering cans of water over his head - he loved it and kept asking for more. Go figure...

Junior Kindergarten

2010-05-28T18:28:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we went to a "Welcome to Kindergarten" session at our local school. Because Bennett will turn four before January 31, 2010, he is eligible to start school in September. To be honest, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I can't stop thinking that if he had been born just a few days later or in mid January when he was supposed to be born we wouldn't even be thinking about this for another year. From what I've read and heard from parents, kids that are born late in the year are often at a disadvantage. Considering that Bennett is already starting with other disadvantages makes it even more difficult.

Legally he doesn't have to go to school until he's six, so obviously I have some options. Bennett did get into the JK program at our local Children's Treatment Centre. This is a regular classroom but it only has six kids and each child is pulled out for therapies. All of their treatment goals are also worked into the classroom routine. This program is five mornings a week. However, next year schools in Ontario are offering full day/everyday JK. This means that we also have the option of sending Bennett to our community school for the afternoon.

We are definitely committed to the morning JK program. The afternoon class at our local school is still optional. At this point we've agreed to try it out and see how it goes. My reasoning for sending him there is to keep him around other kids that are verbal as well as providing an opportunity to get to know other children in the neighbourhood. If it doesn't work out we'll deal with it by either withdrawing him completely or maybe sending him for just a couple afternoons. Fortunately there's flexibility at this stage.

I'm just really having a difficult time with Bennett starting school in three months! I guess that's pretty typical though for most parents.

Quote of the Week

2010-05-27T20:28:00.002-04:00

"Do you know how I know that Bennett is my cousin? Because he's smart!"

Mackenzie - age 5

Yes - Yes he is and so are you!

Wordless Wednesday - Cooling Off

2010-05-26T20:02:00.004-04:00

Hair Cut

2010-05-25T19:41:00.004-04:00

Bennett has needed a haircut for a while. Like me he has thick, unruly hair that grows very quickly. Mummu, Poppa and Auntie Bean made a brave effort last week but all attempts at a trim were thwarted by the little man who is currently having a love affair with the word "Nope".

Yesterday we could handle the wild hair no longer and decided to try it ourselves with clippers. First of all I cut Jim's hair - that was fairly easy - he only squirmed a bit and didn't cry at all. Bennett was convinced to try the clippers but I was only able to make a couple of passes before he stormed off in a huff shouting "NOPE" at the top of his lungs. You can image what his hair looked like at that point but if you can't here's a picture:

We were left with no choice but to force the issue which meant Jim holding Bennett in a bear hug, me clipping as fast as I could and Grandma practicing her routine for her upcoming audition for "You Think You Can Dance". The entire process involved a lot of screaming (Bennett) and cheering. In fact we caused such a ruckus that our neighbour Nancy felt obligated to investigate as she was worried that I had dragged the entire neighbourhood into my Feeding obsession.

The end result turned out ok though and hopefully it won't be such a big job next time.

Hot Weekend Wrap-up

2010-05-24T19:35:00.000-04:00

We're at the end of our May long weekend and it has been a hot one. Temperatures have been about 30 celsius (85-88) for the last few days - definitely a bit warmer than average. I'm enjoying it but admit that it's been a bit difficult adjusting to the heat. We didn't do much this weekend other than go on a little roadtrip - those are the first two pictures. In the video you can see Murphy enjoying a drink right from the hose.

Other than that, my brain is too muddled by the heat and the trauma of just cutting Bennett's hair to compose a meaningful, coherent post of any kind. I'll do better tomorrow.

Thankful

2010-05-23T19:11:00.008-04:00

Back when I initially promised to blog everyday, I asked Kara (who really needs to update her blog) to suggest a topic. Fortunately for me (and you) she didn't stick to her initial ideas of enlarged uvulas or spring fashion trends. Instead she suggested posting ten things I'm thankful for. So here we go...

10. Iced Tea. I can't say enough about this delightful beverage that I seem to be addicted to lately. It needs to be in a big glass with a straw and lots of ice.

9. My 800 thread count sheets. They were a bit expensive but are so nice and soft that I'm tempted to stay in bed all day (yeah - like that would ever happen and besides I've been there, done that).

8. Big Murphy hugs. A wonderful thing about big dogs is that they give and receive big hugs. I would never hug a person as hard as I hug Murphy and he just soaks it up - and so do I.

7. Rice Krispie Squares. I don't think that this particular square gets the recognition it deserves. I really think it's one of my favourite things (other than spaghetti). I've made 2 pans of it this week and I think I'll make another tonight.

6. Jim getting my garden ready for planting. Although he has always helped, since the car accident the bulk of the work falls on his shoulders. This year we won't be planting as much as we won't be around to harvest. We'll be sticking with vegetables that ripen earlier in the season and planting whatever else we can in deck boxes so it can join us when we move.

5. Corn on the cob. A favourite of mine and Bennett's - it's also a great two handed activity!

4. Bennett's chubby, little boy hands. I could look at those little fingers with dirt under the nails every day. And to this day when he slips his grubby, sticky hand in mine, my heart skips a beat.

3. Bathroom applause (TMI warning). It is pretty much impossible for me to go alone for two reasons. First of all, there are times when Bennett just can't seem to have me out of his sight. The second reason is because our bathroom door doesn't close properly. One of the first things I'm going to do when we move is make sure that every door in the house works! Anyway, despite the fact that I'm rarely alone, Bennett always applauds whenever I sit on the toilet. It's much appreciated as I don't get nearly enough standing ovations anymore.

2. Freshly made pogos! We've discovered a chip stand that is about an hour's drive away that makes the best pogos (corn dogs). They are well worth the drive. Bennett loves them too - slathered in mustard....mmmm.........

1. Friends like Kara. I'm not grateful for cerebral palsy and I never will be, but if Bennett didn't have it, I would never have met Kara.

House Update

2010-05-22T17:16:00.004-04:00

We've got progress and sunshine! They started framing and the insulation has been delivered. Hopefully most of the framing will be done next week. In the middle picture, you are looking into what will be our future rec room. In the top picture my "twins" are standing in what will be the main bathroom. We move in 90 days!

Answers

2010-05-21T20:02:00.007-04:00

Since I didn't receive any questions here are the pictures of Bennett I promised. They are all from his first two months. Bennett was 4.5 pounds when we brought him home - barely a handful. I can't even really remember him being so tiny.

Enjoy!

Feeding Anxiety

2010-05-20T16:30:00.000-04:00

Bennett is a decent eater but a bit picky. He does eat a lot of fruit and some vegetables as well as yogurt and whole grain breads. He is not crazy about meat but will eat chicken, ham and fish sometimes. I've spoken to his pediatrician and she's happy with his nutrition.

I on the other hand often find myself worrying about what he's eating or not eating. When Bennett is eating, I don't like to have any distractions because it distracts him from eating. When he doesn't eat much, I work even harder to coax him. And when I'm really worried I call in the big guns - otherwise known as Grandpa. I don't know what it is but my father can get Bennett to eat when no one else can.

The other night Bennett and I were alone for dinner. I found myself doing what I usually do - preparing and presenting one course at time and coaxing and cheering for each bite. I started to wonder whether I was doing him any favours. I'm assuming that most parents don't work so hard to get their kid to eat and don't spend nearly as much time worrying about it.

I'm not sure where this feeding anxiety comes from. Perhaps from our early days in the hospital when Bennett was so small and we were struggling with breast feeding and then trying so desperately to get him to drink even an ounce of milk. Thankfully we've moved well beyond that but my anxiety remains.

What do you think? Should I just present his meal all at once and let him eat or not eat? Should I continue what I'm doing now? Do other people worry so much about eating?

Wordless Wednesday - Chocolate Ice Cream

2010-05-19T19:34:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday Jim!! Are You Ready To Fly?

2010-05-18T20:25:00.000-04:00

I don't dedicate blog posts to birthdays anymore but today is special because it's Jim's birthday. I'm happy to announce that I am no longer the older woman - Jim has caught up with me - at least for another six months - I love this time of year!

I hope you're having a great day. And thanks for changing that dirty diaper a little while ago - even though it's your birthday.

Doctor, Doctor

2010-05-17T15:48:00.002-04:00

Just before our trip to Wonderland Bennett woke up looking like this except that his eye was completely closed. The first thing I suspected was pink eye. We brought him to the clinic where my suspicions were proved correct and the doctor prescribed warm compresses and eye drops. Apparently they saw quite a bit of pink eye in the clinic last week. I'm actually a bit surprised that he has never had it before considering that he goes to preschool and daycare.

The next morning we woke up in the hotel room. Usually Bennett's first words are "Mama", "Dada", "House" (for the Treehouse channel) or "the Mouse" (for Mickey Mouse Playhouse) or "Morn 'n". However, on this morning Bennett woke up with his other eye glued shut. Frantically he began calling out, "ogta, ogta, ogta" pointing to his eye! For those not familiar with Bennett speak, he was saying "doctor". Jim explained that we didn't need to go back to the doctor and that we would just put medicine in that eye too. At first he remained unconvinced and questioned us a few times, "ogta?", "ogta?".

My sweet little boy is not only a bit of a chicken it seems but perhaps a bit of a hypochondriac....

Heart Of Pure Chicken

2010-05-16T18:37:00.010-04:00

The title is borrowing a line from Grandma and it's a perfect description of Bennett. We made a very spontaneous trip to Canada's Wonderland this weekend. It's probably the largest theme park in Canada, but I could be wrong. There is a large area devoted to rides for small kids and we thought Bennett might enjoy it. We got off to a good start with the mini train ride.

We followed up with a ride on the swans. Check out my boys in their lovely lavender swan.

Next up was the "Peanuts 500". It looks innocent enough but it was actually quite terrifying if you ask Bennett. After that ride, we couldn't even convince Bennett to LOOK at the other rides. He was firmly convinced (and all the screaming didn't help) that these colourful contraptions were nothing but sophisticated torture devices.

Eventually he agreed to ride in the mini old cars which he enjoyed. That was the last ride though.

The rides weren't a big hit but we had a good time anyway. Bennett loves people watching and sampling all the food. In the background of the picture below you can see my ride (scooter). I am grateful that so many places have these available to rent. It's the only thing that allows me to go places with Bennett and Jim that I couldn't go otherwise.

So, that was our first family trip to Canada's Wonderland. We'll definitely go back and we'll even bring our little chicken....

Q & A

2010-05-15T16:00:00.000-04:00

I thought I would have one blog devoted to questions from readers. That is assuming you have any for me. Feel free to leave any question in the comment section or if you know me well enough to have the address, send me an email. If I don't get any questions which is certainly possible, I'll devote the "Answers" blog post to pictures of Bennett. If there are questions, I promise I'll post pictures of Bennett anyway.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

House Progress!

2010-05-14T16:00:00.000-04:00

Finally some progress!! It appears that we have the foundation done or at least close. Despite the dark skies still looming in the background (we do get sun around here - honest) it's great to see something being done considering we are scheduled to move in 98 days. It's an exciting process but hard to be patient.

Super Diaper Dad

2010-05-13T15:30:00.000-04:00

I remember the first time Jim changed a diaper. Bennett was two days old and in the room with us at the hospital after getting out of intensive care. Bennett had "delivered" and it was time for a change. Jim looked at me - I was lying in bed with a leg broken in two spots, a cast just off my wrist recovering from a very recent c-section. I was also quite ill as a result of the drugs and unfortunately had a bowl nestled beside me rather than my baby. I probably wouldn't have been much help either as at that point it had been more than twenty years since I had changed a diaper. I suggested that he just pay attention to how it was put on and then try to do the same.

Since then there has been no looking back. Jim changed the majority of diapers for the first 3 months of Bennett's life and he quickly became an expert. And not just any expert but one of those slightly annoying ones that professes to "know it all" about a task. Soon he was providing detailed instructions and constructive criticism to anyone who dared change Bennett including his own mother who has undoubtedly changed hundreds of diapers.

I will say though that the man can change a diaper ANYWHERE. At a recent birthday party he overheard two mothers discussing how nice it was that the facility had added a change table in the bathroom. He was quick to scoff as they talked about how uncomfortable it had been to change the kids on the floor. With a shake of his head he exclaimed, "Really? They should see some of the places I've changed diapers!" And he's right - although, I have to add that the two women in question have probably changed their kids in many awkward positions. But in no way does that diminish Jim's accomplishments. I simply can't believe some of the places he has changed Bennett.

However, - and I'm sure you knew there would be a "however" - despite the fact that he is my diaper changing hero, Jim does not always go about the task quietly. In fact, at times the diaper drama is a bit much especially when he starts gagging. Despite that I will gladly hand the title of "Super Diaper Dad" to Jim - that is if he wants it.

Bennett's In Love

2010-05-12T16:20:00.000-04:00

I always knew that one day I would be replaced as the number one woman in his life, but I never dreamed that it would be so soon. Bennett has fallen in love and he has fallen hard. The love affair started a couple months ago and is still going strong. Who knows - maybe this girl is the one. The major barrier to future happiness would be the 20+ year age gap. The current woman of Bennett's dreams is his daycare educator - her name is Marissa.

It started innocently enough with Bennett pointing to her in his communication book and his device. Within a couple days though we knew there was a problem when ALL we were hearing was "Marissa". He wanted to play with Marissa, take a bath with Marissa, sleep with Marissa. On daycare days, he wakes up, looks at me, smiles and with a dreamy look in his eyes says "Marsa". When he gets there he takes a few moments to peek at her around the corner until he works up the nerve to get close - then he'll touch her and run away. He gets very upset whenever she leaves the room and will call at the top of his lungs for his "Marsa" to return.

We have been working on sequencing words in his book. At the end of one day, Marissa and I were discussing how well he was doing with this. She told me that earlier he had grabbed his book and asked her to undress and show him her belly! The kid definitely needs to work on his pick up lines. He can get away with it now but in about 15 years it would just be creepy. And I just don't know if Marissa is willing to wait that long.

In the video Bennett had decided to change his pronounciation of Marissa from the usual "Marsa" to what you hear. Experimenting with sounds I think to get closer - a great thing around here!

Time For A Change

2010-05-11T18:10:00.001-04:00

Bennett had another assessment done today by the Assistive Communication Clinic team. His current device is a Minimo and has become a bit limiting. The new device will have hundreds of symbols pre-programmed as well as a voice synthesizer. It will enable him to spell, change tenses and form sentences. Some of the words sound kind of funny and apparently it can't say certain words. Even so, I think it will be helpful in that it will provide Bennett with a better opportunity to express himself as well as to continue to develop his language skills.

Ultimately I'm still hoping for real words using Bennett's voice. We have made some progress in this area but realistically we have years of speech therapy ahead of us. I'll try to get some video of Bennett saying something other than "mama" or "dada" for a future post but he's not always that cooperative - especially when a camera is involved!

Getting To Know Me

2010-05-10T15:08:00.004-04:00

I'm feeling a bit lazy today so I'm taking the easy way out with today's post.

1. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
Socks

2. WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?
Pants??

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The Wiggles

4. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Yeah - oh wait, I thought that said "jiggle"

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Nacho flavoured Doritos

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
Pink Flamingo

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
Cloudy but at least the snow is melting

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Jim

9. WHAT THING DO YOU NOTICE FIRST ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Hands and whether they're wearing pants

10. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I couldn't live with me but I think I could be friends with me

11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
OK - a bit tired

12. FAVOURITE DRINK?
A cold glass of milk

13. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Please don't make me choose...

14. FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
Prosciutto

15. HAIR COLOUR?
I forget, but probably a shade of gray or grey

16. EYE COLOUR?
Brown

17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Sometimes

18. PIERCINGS?
Both ears but they close up all the time because I wear earrings about once every two years

19. FAVOURITE MONTH?
It used to be September but let's make it August now

20. FAVOURITE FOOD?
Spaghetti - In fact I have an ongoing list titled "Places Where Barbara Has Eaten Spaghetti". Here it is for your reading enjoyment:
Cairo, Egypt
Athens, Greece
Paris, France
London, England
Rome, Italy
Florence, Italy
Toronto, Canada
Orlando, USA
Somewhere that I can't remember in Spain
Tonight here at home
I've learned that you can find spaghetti almost anywhere in the world. The best spaghetti I had was in Paris and the most memorable was in Egypt.

21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakquel

22. WINTER OR SUMMER?
Fall

23. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
It depends - chocolate ice cream but vanilla milk shake

24. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Diary of Anne Frank and some mystery/thriller paperback that I can't even remember the name of right now and I love You Stinky Face

25. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
The mouse and Doritos crumbs

26. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
I prefer to call them BORED games

27. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
Discussed Jeeps with Jim, watched Dinner Impossible and then tossed and turned for way too long

28. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Where are my pants?

The Other Side of Mother's Day

2010-05-09T16:55:00.002-04:00

Although I have made it to the "other side", I usually spend part of Mother's Day remembering how I used to hate this day. I think about all the women I know or have known that have never made it or are still trying to get here. Throughout six long years of infertility, this day was often the worst. Dragging myself out of bed and going out was an achievement as it seemed every place we went I was faced with the cheerful person asking "Are you a mother?"

I remember wondering if I was ever lucky enough to make it to the "other side" would I look back on those years and think "it wasn't that bad". Having been on the other side for 3.5 years now I can honestly answer, "Yes, it was THAT bad". It was hard - harder than most people (the lucky 5 of 6 that don't have the problem) could ever know. It is truly an experience that you have to live to understand - just like being a parent of a child with special needs. When you have a child with special needs, it is usually pretty easy to get compassion from the general public. When you have infertility, you're pretty much on your own.

I'm not sure why I'm blogging about this other than the fact that I've promised to write everyday for the month. And I can't get through this day without thinking about it all. It makes me even more grateful for Bennett. Because as difficult as our lives can be at times, at the end of the day, I have my gorgeous son who is still more than willing to smother me with hugs and kisses.

If you know someone with infertility be kind and gentle. Remember that flippant comments are usually not helpful. Give them a break if they don't want to hang out with you or your kids sometimes, but be sure to always invite them anyway. Remember that it's ok for them to be selfish occasionally because sometimes that's what you have to do to protect your heart. Most of all make sure they know that you love them anyway.

If anyone reading this blog is currently living through the nightmare that is infertility, my wish for you is success in whatever method you use to build your family and there are many different ways. I also hope you find peace as you make the difficult decision to keep on trying or the even more courageous decision to stop.

To everyone else, Happy Mother's Day. I hope you spend the day being showered with love and appreciation grateful for the wonderful privilege of being called "Mom".

Splish Splash I Was Takin' A Bath

2010-05-08T21:00:00.000-04:00

This story, like most of my stories needs a bit of background. When we first brought Bennett home we would bath him in a dish pan on my hospital bed table so I could participate. Once I was able to stand we progressed to the nifty tub that fit in the kitchen sink. It wasn't long until he outgrew that tub and we had to move on to the regular tub in the bathroom. This presented a problem for me as I'm unable to kneel or squat. That combined with Bennett's mobility and balance issues makes an unfortunate and unsafe situation. As a result Jim has pretty much taken over bath time. The few exceptions are when I feel nimble enough to actually get in the tub with Bennett. I enjoy this time together playing and sneaking in those ever important stretches and figure that we can probably continue until Bennett is about four.

For safety reasons, Jim is always at home when this happens. However, on Thursday night I thought Bennett and I would be ok while Jim took Murphy for a quick walk. So, there we were splishin' and a splashin' and having a great time. And then Bennett suddenly stood up, bent over and clutched the side of the tub. Within seconds his eyes became focused and his face flushed. I would never claim to be be the sharpest knife in the drawer but I'm not the dullest either and I quickly figured out what was about to happen. Panic set in as I asked him if he could sit on the potty and he furiously shook his head "no". I knew I was running out of time and options and I was frantically looking for something to catch what I knew was coming. And then - it was too late - there it was - just like a torpedo - and then it was bobbing in the tub! With lightening fast reflexes that I didn't even know I had, I scooped it up and flipped it into the garbage can which was a couple feet from the tub. And then the laughter started - Bennett thought it was hysterical. He was laughing so hard he could barely stand - he would only stop long enough to point at the garbage can and say "poop" and then he would descend into uncontrollable giggles again. Once my horror subsided I started to laugh too. It was pretty funny.

I don't need to drag this story out anymore but rest assured that we both got cleaned up as did the tub. Jim and Murphy came back and said, "I guess you two had a good time, I could hear Bennett laughing all the way up the street!".

House Update

2010-05-07T18:44:00.004-04:00

Well, if you look at that picture taken just a little while ago, it is quite apparent that not much has changed from last week. The only new thing is the delivery of blocks for the foundation. I was kind of hoping construction would be moving a bit quicker. I have been assured that once they start things will indeed happen fast. I just noticed that if you look at the 3 pictures I have posted - which have been taken 3 weeks apart - they all have big dark clouds in the horizon......

In other news, we are currently bracing for a big snowfall. In the course of the next 24 hours, they are forecasting 15-20cm of snow - that's about 8 inches for my Imperial readers. On top of that, high wind gusts are also expected. Overall, a lovely spring day.

Since the house isn't much to look at again, here is another face picture from Bennett. Check out those eyelashes!!

Back To Cute

2010-05-06T15:08:00.002-04:00

Ok. We've gone a couple days on this bloggy marathon without any cute. Fortunately with Bennett around, there's never any shortage of cute.

The other day, our neighbour Nancy and her grand daughter Abby came over for a visit. Bennett and Abby were having a great time exchanging smooches and taking turns on the slide. Eventually, Bennett noticed that Abby's babies were a bit neglected, so being the perfect gentleman that he is, he decided to take them for a walk up and down the street. And Jim, being the great dad that he is, followed along.

Below is video of the action - two tough guys happily pushing a pretty pink stroller up and down our street!

Last Tulips

2010-05-05T14:38:00.005-04:00

The other day Bennett and I went outside to take pictures of my tulips. He looked a bit bewildered as we approached the flowerbed. I told him I wanted to take pictures of the tulips - he looked at me, pointed to his lips and then to mine, held up two fingers and then tried to grab the camera. Patiently I grabbed the camera back out of his grubby little hand (I really need to buy him one of his own) and explained that the flowers that we were looking at were called TULIPS. He remained unconvinced and continued to look at me as if he'd just been punk'd.

Anyway, back to the tulips. I titled the post "Last Tulips" because this will be the last time I see my tulips bloom. As readers are aware, we are moving in 107 days. You may not be aware of how incredibly sentimental I am and how attached I get to things. This move will be hard for me even though we're only moving 5km away. In particular I'll miss my tulips. I purchased these flowers 4 years ago on our way home from Toronto after an IUI treatment cycle. That was the cycle that produced Bennett. For those readers unaware of our history I refer you to the sidebar link Part 1 of Our Story. On our way home from Toronto I would always make Jim stop at one of my favourite flower shops on Avenue Road to buy myself something to help ease the pain of the hopelessness I felt. That year, I bought myself two pots of tulips - yellow and pink. By the time they were done blooming and I planted the bulbs, I knew I was pregnant.

Of course we all know what happened next - Part 2 of Our Story. By the time spring arrived we had Bennett and I had just undergone another surgery on my leg. I remember vividly watching and waiting to see if the tulips would bloom and sure enough they did - and they have every year since - each year more beautiful than the last. So, in many ways those tulips are more than tulips to me. In many ways they represent hope - hope that sometimes despite the hopelessness of a situation things can work out. Hope that even when you feel battered and broken, you know that you'll be ok again. Hope that someday, you'll have more hope - becomes sometimes hope is in short supply.

Did you get all that? Pretty corny I know. Just as I know that tulips are just tulips and that I'll plant new ones at the new house. But, I'll still miss these old ones.

A New Brace

2010-05-04T13:42:00.000-04:00

About a month ago we finally got a new brace for Bennett's right leg. It was the same style AFO, just bigger. This time we were given the option of adding a decal - there was very little to choose from - hence the Toronto Maple Leafs emblem. Many would argue that we would have been better off choosing nothing at all while others would suggest that making a child wear anything associated with such a dreadful hockey team is a form of child cruelty.

About a day after he started wearing the brace, he started limping - really bad. It looked like he could barely put weight on his leg and then he would start dragging it. I didn't think it was the brace as he had only started wearing it and his limp was just as bad without it. We gave him warm baths and did some extra stretches. It got a bit better and then a bit worse. He didn't seem to be in pain though and there were no marks on his foot or leg. He also seemed to be off balance and was falling quite a bit more than usual. It was really upsetting to watch him walk like that when he's been doing so well. We continued with the brace for periods of time throughout the day and added new shoes. After about two weeks he started to get back to normal. To this day, none of us are sure what the problem was. Perhaps a growth spurt? I'm just glad he's better. Now as summer approaches we'll have to deal with the stares and snickers we get from people that notice the Toronto Maple Leafs emblem on his brace!

The Man of Many Faces

2010-05-03T14:45:00.001-04:00

Bennett loves to draw - especially at his new art table provided by Auntie Gates and Uncle Austin. Currently his favourite subject is faces. Aren't they spectacular? And I say that even though the wild uncontrollable hair somewhat resembles my own. When he draws a really good face he gets really excited to show us. Unfortunately most of his creations are on the dry erase board so the only way I've been able to preserve them is through photographs and now this blog.

Who Tooted?

2010-05-02T12:24:00.002-04:00

Just a lazy morning hanging out on the couch and then someone toots! You can see that Murphy does his best to look innocent and I must admit he is very convincing (he's had a lot of practice). You'll notice the shoe on the table. This is courtesy of Murphy who likes to carry shoes around, untie the shoelaces and then fall asleep. And yes there is a "no dogs on furniture rule at our house" Jim!

Day One

2010-05-01T18:19:00.007-04:00

Today is the first day of my 31 day Blogging Marathon! I had to go and pick a long month...Anyway if anyone is out there, throw me a comment every once in a while to help keep me going!

I thought I would start with a house update. As you can see in the picture below not much has happened. Kind of disappointing considering the amount of pressure I had placed on me by those in charge of this project to finish paint colours and decide on a tub this week. Hopefully next week's picture will look different.

Since the house isn't much to look at I thought I would add pictures from this morning. Bennett and I decided to make pancakes. They were not the best looking pancakes but they tasted pretty good - especially with maple syrup directly from my aunt and uncle's sugar bush. As you can see in the pictures Bennett was not the greatest sous chef. He gets way too distracted by the camera - I don't think he'll ever be an Iron Chef.

Potty Problems

2010-04-30T14:36:00.003-04:00

I'm sure you could find at least two problems with the picture above. First of all, yes I realize that Bennett should take his pants off BEFORE sitting on the potty and yes, I also realize that he still has a soother. And believe it or not, I don't really have a problem with either. If you were to look at the Top Ten List of Things That Keep Barbara Up At Night, neither the potty or soother would be there.

However, I thought I would discuss the potty situation anyway. In some ways, I believe Bennett is close - I think we could get there and I know we'll get it eventually. One of the problems we're having at the moment is that Bennett is VERY reluctant to even sit on the potty. I don't know why this happened and I'm not sure what to do about it although I'm sure my best friend Google will have something to say.

Bennett tells us when he poops - after it happens in most cases. When I manage to catch him at the beginning or in the middle of such an event, I ask him to try the potty. His response is a furious shaking of the head "no". The last two mornings he has woken up dry but refuses to use the potty. I don't want to force the issue but it is a bit frustrating when you feel that you're so close. Oh well, fortunately I have patience for this as well as lots of coupons for diapers.....

Easter Rewind

2010-04-28T20:19:00.004-04:00

I thought I would go way back to the beginning of the month and add a couple more pictures and a video from Easter weekend. Above you can see some of the Easter egg magnets that Bennett made for family members. He worked really hard on these over the course of a week. The only thing we did was put the name on the egg - Bennett did the rest.

On the Sunday we went to Jim's parents for dinner. It was a beautiful day and Bennett was able to drive his red car all over the yard - of course, his favourite co-pilot Mummu was never too far - which was good as he still needs some help with the steering.

Bennett then decided to hang out with his other favourite co-pilot in Poppa's Jeep. Those are two happy boys!

Birthday Party

2010-04-27T21:02:00.004-04:00

Bennett attended a birthday party on the weekend for the son of a friend. The festivities were held at a gymnastics club. It's the second party we've been to there and I think I've decided that it will be the location for Bennett's next birthday. It's a great place where the kids can run around, climb and jump.

There is a long trampoline that the kids can run on. At the end is a big pit of sponges to jump into. Bennett loved running on the mat but refused to jump into the pit despite repeated demonstrations from the birthday boy.

Bennett tried hard to jump on the trampoline like the other kids. He was very convincing -bending and then standing up with his hands over his head! The video above isn't the greatest because as usual I turned the camera on too late. I told his physiotherapist about his efforts so she's going to work with him on the trampoline to see if we can get some real jumping!

Funny Story - Bennett loves to flirt and make new friends and he made a special one at the party. My friend's grandmother is a wonderful woman who is now 88. Bennett of course recognized her charm right away and proceeded to flirt with her for the entire party - stopping to smile and wave every time he ran by and then giving her a big hug after lunch. Before I left I was speaking with her and she asked me to come and visit her some time. I told her I would love to but thought she would be pretty busy. Without a blink she quickly agreed and told me I would probably have to make an appointment! I laughed so hard - I hope so much that I'm half as busy when I'm 88!

Finally - A New Post! (And A New House)

2010-04-27T20:52:00.005-04:00

Well this month has gone by quickly. I apologize for the lack of updates but shortly after my last post, we sold our house and things got crazy as we had to make about a million decisions about our new house in a very short period of time. Our closing date isn't until August 20th but for some reason we had to make ALL of our choices right away. It has been fun picking out flooring, cabinets, plumbing fixtures, paint colours, brick, etc., but also very stressful. We went with pretty safe options but I can't help but second guess every selection we've made.

As you can see in the photos above, the footings for the house are done. Hopefully they'll get around to the structure soon. I'm planning on posting weekly updates.

And in other big news, I'm announcing my intention to blog every day for the month of May! Hopefully I still have a couple readers around to help me stick to my promise!

Good Friday

2010-04-02T19:53:00.004-04:00

Well, it's a good Friday when Bennett bakes cookies - even though they are the Pillsbury Ready to Bake ones.

It's a great Friday when your three year old vacuums the house for you.

And it's an even better Friday when it's warm enough in Northern Ontario on April 2 to camp in your driveway!

Compassion

2010-04-01T20:46:00.004-04:00

I came across a new blog recently. I don't even remember how I found it but this woman is a wonderful writer and a fantastic photographer. She's also a new mom to a beautiful little girl with Down Syndrome. I was reading the story of her daughter's birth and it pretty much left me sobbing big giant tears into my keyboard. Her entire story is moving but the part that affected me the most was when she described how the doctor told her about her daughter's likely diagnosis. The doctor who broke the news was so compassionate and respectful. It brought back memories of the terrible day that Bennett was diagnosed and how the doctor told us.

I will never forget her standing in that tiny room looking down at us. There was not an ounce of compassion in her face as she bluntly delivered the shocking diagnosis of cerebral palsy. I remember the unbelievable pain and then the numbness. I remember the student who was with her nervously staring at the floor as she spoke. I hope he learned something that day - I hope he learned how NOT to treat people. I hope he went on to train with other doctors - other doctors who showed him how to treat people with respect and compassion. I've tried to forgive her and I thought I had until I read that blog post this morning. Apparently I need more time. I will never understand how another person, a human being, a woman, a mother could have treated us so callously.

Fortunately, that was the one and only time we saw that pediatrician. With the help of a family friend we were able to get another opinion from a different doctor who generously offered to take Bennett as a patient. And every time we see her I am grateful - she's a wonderful, gracious and compassionate human being - just as a doctor should be.

Cousins

2010-04-01T20:36:00.005-04:00

Last weekend we went out for our traditional Sunday breakfast with Grandpa. This time it was special because we were joined by more family including Bennett's cousin Mackenzie. She's about two years older than Bennett which makes her almost five. However, sometimes I think she's about 50! She's a wonderful kid who loves Bennett and he loves her right back just as much.

My cousin Lucy (Mackenzie's Grandma) and I are in complete agreement - they are pretty much the cutest kids in the whole world. Although I would also admit that we may be a bit biased!

Week in Review

2010-03-19T20:45:00.003-04:00

Things that warmed my heart this week:

1. Watching Bennett lead Becky around her mother’s yard and having her help him throw rocks in the ditch. I’ve known Becky a long time – I used to babysit her and her brother and sister. Now she has three wonderful kids of her own.
2. Watching all of my neighbours grandkids come out and shout and wave to Bennett as we walked by – just like he was a long lost friend.
3. Listening to Bennett practice saying all of the previously mentioned kids names as he and Jim laid in bed.
4. Hearing Bennett ask for “Appo ooce” this morning.
5. Having two of Bennett’s daycare educators “threaten” to take him home with them because he’s just so adorable and so much fun to be around.

The one thing that broke my heart this week:

1. The woman (a complete stranger) who stopped me on the street yesterday afternoon while I was out for a walk with Bennett and enjoying a beautiful spring day. She proceeded to ask me three questions:

How old is your son?
What’s his name?
Is he autistic?

I'll try to focus on the first five things as I go to sleep tonight instead of trying to figure out when it’s EVER appropriate to stop a stranger and "diagnose" their child after 20 seconds.

As a bonus feature, check out the video of Bennett tonight after his bath. Is there anything cuter than a kid right out of the tub? Check out his exaggerated “shivers”.

Naps

2010-03-17T19:16:00.003-04:00

I should've known this:

would turn into this:
We're at an awkward stage right now it seems. Bennett will still nap - he'll nap for two hours. However, on nap days he won't go to sleep at night until after 10pm - which is a problem. He usually doesn't sleep well and then I have to wake him up for preschool which leads to a tired, cranky kid who needs a nap.

We started out trying to cut the naps to an hour. It helped for a while but he was still up late. Currently we're trying to get rid of the naps altogether. When he goes without a nap he's sound asleep by 8pm and sleeps like a champ.

This morning Bennett was up early and was a bit tired by this afternoon but I decided to go without a nap. Instead we did "quiet time" which involved sitting on the couch and watching the Wiggles. I got up to check my email and within about a minute he was sound asleep. I decided to let him sleep for half an hour. It then took half an hour to wake him up. Tonight he may be up late because of my desire to check my email which consisted mostly of messages that were entirely too concerned about the size and quality of my manhood.

Ahhh.....any advice out there - about the naps of course. My manhood is absolutely none of your business!

Murphy

2010-03-16T14:31:00.006-04:00

Murphy turned one in February. We had a "birthday party" for him where hot dogs were served. Unfortunately for Murphy, he spent most of the party in his crate after he managed to steal the wiener right out of Grandma's bun. He did the exact same thing about two weeks later while we were in Mexico. This time he stole it from a wonderful little girl named Hunter whose parents were brave enough to look after Murphy while we were away. The result was somewhat similar in that once again Murphy found himself with a human hand shoved halfway down his throat. Apparently the intrepid Jenn (mother to Hunter) had her hands down Murphy's throat approximately 100 times a day. That statistic is similar to what we experience here at home.

Which leads me to my next Murphy related topic - Obedience School. Murphy finished his final class last night. Over the course of eight weeks, these are some of the comments we heard, "I love your dog - he's got character", "Oh - that Murphy - he's a free spirit" and finally, "Some of you might want to repeat the class". As you might guess, that's what we'll be doing. His behaviour last night left me not knowing whether to laugh or cry - so I went with laughing until I cried. Without a doubt Murphy was the worst pupil in the class. On the bright side, he probably was the most popular.

Murphy can best be described as an INCORRIGIBLE LOTHARIO. Two words that probably belong together but preferably don't belong to your dog (or your husband).

Incorrigible: impervious to correction

Lothario: a successful seducer

He is almost impossible to resist though - as I've said, he loves love and his approach to everything in life is to pretty much force that love upon you with reckless enthusiasm. He introduced himself to the obedience instructor the first night by french kissing her - despite her initial reaction, I think she may have enjoyed it a bit as she stumbled away muttering about his incredibly soft mouth. A couple weeks ago, I think he got to at least second base with the guy that came to fix the hot tub - or at least I suspect so. I didn't witness the entire event, but Roger had a suspiciously flushed look on his face. Murphy also managed to orally assault one of the obedience trainers last week. But I'll give him a break for that one - after all, SHE was the one who spilled chili on her shirt before class and then forgot to change it.

Despite it all, we love him - we love him a lot. He keeps us on our toes and makes us laugh every single day. And he loves Bennett - so much. Happy Birthday Murphy.

Botox Update

2010-03-10T20:42:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow will be one month since Bennett had Botox. I wish I could report good news. Unfortunately, the Botox has had a minimal effect. Jim, myself, our pediatrician and physiotherapist are all in agreement - the Botox has done very little. There may have been a very slight improvement in that his right leg isn't as tight. We may also be really stretching to try and see something - anything. We had hoped for more - frankly, we expected more but I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I've been reading about Botox for a long time now and it really seems to be a mixed bag. Our experience although disappointing is certainly not unusual.

So, what's next? I don't know. I'm assuming he'll be reassessed at some point but I'm not sure what the doctor will suggest. Perhaps he'll want to do more injections. I don't know and once again I don't know what we'll do. It's a hard decision to make - it's painful, expensive and not without risk. All that for something we may have achieved with extra stretching.

The effects of the Botox are supposed to last for about 3 months. Hopefully we'll see a bit more improvement - I'll keep you updated.

Where We Were Last Week

2010-03-04T11:14:00.001-05:00

I spend way too much time on these silly videos....

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

True Love

2010-03-03T20:08:00.009-05:00

Murphy and Jack staring wistfully at each other for at least 20 minutes through the window. These two have a definite "bromance" going on. Jack comes over to get Murhpy and if they're lucky Jim is home and will take them out and if they're even luckier, Jack's mommy takes both of them out to play and go for a walk. Sometimes, though, they have to settle for just gazing at each other longingly through our living room window.

Climbing to the top of a Mayan pyramid with two sprained ankles (another blog post) for your wife who can't and who as a child dreamed of growing up to be Indiana Jones - just so she could see what it looked like from the top....

Thank you so much to everyone for your condolences for my grandfather.

Good Bye Papa

2010-02-17T14:47:00.006-05:00

Today my grandfather died. He has not been well for quite a while and has suffered from Alzheimer’s for many years. He was almost 85 years old and came from a large French-Canadian family (16 living children). As I type this, I am sitting in the same chair he always sat in at every family dinner. He wasn't a perfect man but he was a very good grandfather to me – the only surviving grandchild. We have always lived very close to my grandparents and I would see him often. Whenever he came over I would race to sit on his lap – barely giving him enough time to sit down in most cases. On his lap I would remain for pretty much the duration of his visit.

I was able to be with him this morning for a couple hours before he died – and I’m glad I was. The ravages of time and sickness had taken its toll leaving a man almost unrecognizable to the one I grew up with. Other family members were there and sang, told stories, laughed and cried. I hope in some way the sound of our voices provided some comfort and peace.

One of my fondest memories is sitting in the cab of his truck that had a cassette player – this was a very exciting upgrade to the eight track player (wow – am I dating myself!). We put in a Dolly Parton tape and listened to the song “Apple Jack”. The volume was cranked right up (my grandfather was quite hard of hearing). Together we sang along at the top of our lungs and clapped and stomped our feet. I think we played it about five times in a row.

I’ll always regret that he never got to meet and know Bennett. But I guess that’s how life goes sometimes. Mostly, I’m just relieved that he is no longer suffering.

Good-bye Papa.

Botox

2010-02-11T21:44:00.004-05:00

Before Christmas Bennett was assessed at the Botox clinic again. This time the doctor suggested three injections into the hamstrings of his right leg. I wasn't sold (I'm still not) but I decided to give it a try when the doctor told me that Botox would hopefully delay or prevent future orthopedic surgeries. This is a big deal - as someone who has had four orthopedic surgeries in three years, I know how hard it can be. It's painful and the recovery is long.

Bennett's appointment was this morning. I've been worried about it and was quite nervous. However, once again Bennett proved that he is a lot tougher than me. The entire process took less than five minutes. Bennett barely flinched and only got angry during the last injection. I think having four people holding him down on his belly was getting to him. He didn't shed a tear (and neither did I surprisingly) and was ready to give the doctor a high five on the way out. The doctor looked quite surprised because I think he expected Bennett to give him a high five - not me. Someone once said, "Either you're a high five kind a guy or you're not" - I guess I am....

Before we left Bennett was allowed to pick out a sticker and a toy. My big tough guy selected a Hanna Montana sticker and a package of four sparkly tiaras! Jim - a man who's obviously very comfortable with his own masculinity, carried Bennett through the waiting room with pride as his son clutched his new found treasures.

Once we got home we all had to take turns wearing the tiaras. Even Murphy got in on the fun. I have always wanted a tiara so I was very happy with Bennett's choice. So much so that I wore mine all afternoon. It does get in the way sometimes when bending over to do housework but other than that, I could get used to it.

Music Man

2010-02-03T20:18:00.002-05:00

Bennett's preschool had a small graduation party last week. His physiotherapist brought her guitar and took the time at the end of the morning to let Bennett play. I think we might have a budding musician on our hands.

Flashes From January

2010-02-02T21:01:00.008-05:00

Just a few funny pictures from last month. Bennett decided that he could get in the tub all by himself when I had my back turned for a split second. The only problem is he didn't bother to take off his shirt or his diaper. I couldn't believe how heavy that diaper was - I think the water level in the tub went down about two inches!!

I don't really know why Bennett is making that face. Maybe it's his strike a pose face he uses when modelling snow pants.

What a difference three years make!!

Constraint Therapy - Our Version

2010-01-31T11:07:00.002-05:00

Constraint therapy is something that is used as a method to help "re-train" the brain. It's often used for kids that have hemiplegic cerebral palsy to help them gain function in their affected side. Although I just said "often used", it is NOT used much here in Ontario - especially in the north. When it is done, it usually involves casting the non-affected arm for a few weeks. During this time, occupational therapy is usually stepped up to get the most benefit. Our previous OT was supportive of trying out a modified method. As you can see in the video, it's very high-tech and involves putting a sock over Bennett's left hand. Even though we only do this every once in awhile, I have seen improvement in the function of Bennett's right arm and hand. I wonder what would happen if we were able to participate in a formal program? If you want to see a great example of constraint therapy, check out Amy's Blog - Maddy has been making some fantastic progress!

Happy Birthday Bennett!!

2010-01-30T22:31:00.004-05:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

What's Going On?

2010-01-30T21:29:00.005-05:00

A lot actually. I love blogging but just haven't had the time lately. It serves as a great outlet for me and a virtual baby book for Bennett. So, please bear with me as I play catch up.

First of all, we've been busy lately because after 2 years of looking for a new house, we have finally decided to build! The new house can't be started for a couple months because of winter but in the meantime things have been crazy around here as we get our house ready to sell. It's amazing how much stuff you realize you have when you try to organize it. We've also put off way too many jobs and now find ourselves up to our necks in drywall and paint! I don't really enjoy that kind of stuff too much to begin with but I'm really not liking it with a big deadline of one more week to finish.

I'll blog more about house stuff as it comes up but in the meantime, let's step back more than a month ago to Bennett's 3rd birthday party....Check out the short slideshow above. How I love making those things!!

Oh Murphy....

2010-01-14T20:33:00.003-05:00

Murphy loves to love people. But as I've said - 80 pounds of Murphy love can be a lot to handle...

Four Christmases

2009-12-26T20:47:00.006-05:00

This year marks our fourth Christmas with Bennett. It's incredible how quickly kids grow up isn't it? In the early days we thought the days would never end and now I would like the days to go more slowly so I can enjoy my little boy.

We've had a nice Christmas - it has been a busy month - Disney, Birthdays, Christmas....I hope everyone is having a nice holiday too. Christmas can be a difficult time for many people - a fact that our "must be happy all the time - especially at Christmas" society tends to overlook. For anyone who for any reason is having a difficult time right now - my Christmas wish for you is peace.

Disney 2009!

2009-12-17T14:31:00.002-05:00

Whew! A lot has happened since my last post. We travelled to Disney World in Florida for a week and my baby turned 3!! I can't believe it - where does the time go?

As you can see, we had a great time!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Student of the Week

2009-12-02T21:15:00.003-05:00

As many of you know Bennett attends a preschool program at our local Children's Treatment Centre. Every week a different child is chosen to be the "PATH Student of the Week". This week was Bennett's turn.

We are pleased to introduce PATH Student of the Week, Bennett.

Bennett is a very social young man who enjoys learning new things. He is now learning how to make new sounds and is motivated to try new words. Bennett uses his communication book and his Minimo device very well to express what he wants and to share his ideas.

In Occupational Therapy, Bennett is now able to snip paper using his first Fiskar scissors. We are very proud of Bennett as he uses both hands to play with toys and is able to pull a zipper up and down by himself with just a little bit of help. Bennett is starting to make zip and zoom lines.

Bennett loves to explore all of his surroundings. He readily participates in gross motor activities, both in the classroom and the gym. He can walk in all directions and can climb up and down the stairs. Bennett enjoys kicking a ball and willingly participates in riding a tricycle.

It's a pleasure to have Bennett in our Preschool Program. He is always smiling and loves to do crafts!

Christmas Concert

2009-11-26T13:07:00.002-05:00

Last night was Bennett's Christmas Concert at our local Children's Treatment Centre. It was a great evening - the result of weeks of hard work and preparation. The gym was packed with people and kids - there was lots of laughter, applause and some tears (joyful of course!). Although I had reminded myself all day to bring kleenex, I forgot it in my coat and had to make do with a small paper napkin provided by my mother.

Bennett's therapists and some of the other staff had been telling me how much he was enjoying the rehearsals. Apparently during a preview performance Bennett got so caught up in the moment and the music that he fell off his bench!! Fortunately, after a couple kisses from his preschool leader he returned to the stage like a pro.

I apologize for the quality of the video and the distance. We got there early but the place was packed and seats were limited.

In this clip you can see that Bennett takes a moment to acknowledge his fans by waving.

I can't say enough about the staff at the treatment centre. They put so much work and enthusiasm into this project. I thanked every one I could but it doesn't seem enough for the gift of such a wonderful memory.

The Sweetest Sound

2009-11-23T20:18:00.002-05:00

Doesn't he have a wonderful little voice? Besides "Mama" and "Dada" we have "Ball" and "Boo Boo". We also have a good variety of other sounds like "F", "T", "H", "S", "A", "N", "O", "P", "W". It's not much for a kid who's almost 3 but it's still music to my ears....

My Furry Boys - Bowser and Murphy

2009-11-18T21:15:00.006-05:00

One year ago today we had to say good-bye to a treasured member of our family. I still miss Bowser and have certainly cried some tears today. I think anyone who was lucky enough to know Bowser still misses him as well. Jim and I joke that he will always be our first baby. Below is one of my favourite pictures from our first camping trip with Bennett.

Jim and I got Bowser not long after we had lost Robin - another much loved family pet. She had been with me from elementary school right through university. I think Bowser helped us heal at the time. And now we have Murphy and like Bowser, he too has helped fill that special place in our hearts. Murphy is a great dog but as I've said before 75 pounds of love and exuberance can be a bit much at times and unfortunately for him he often gets compared to Bowser - which is totally unfair. Bowser drove us crazy when he was 9 months old too - a fact that we often forget.

Murphy has his own unique quirks and character traits. He hates to get up early and Jim has to drag him out of the bedroom every morning to go for his walk. Murphy doesn't like to lie down gently - he just drops - and we can feel the quaking throughout our small house. Bennett likes to stick Murphy's tail in Murphy's mouth which always results in a crazy "dog chasing his tail" frenzy. This game never fails to amuse Bennett. Speaking of Bennett, Murphy puts up with a lot from the kid. Bennett will pull his tail, lips, ears - and Murphy will just stand there until we rescue him. And unlike Bowser, Murphy LOVES everyone and everything - even the TV. As you can see below, In the Night Garden is his favourite show. Bennett has pretty much outgrown it, but I'll still put it on for Murphy - after all, he is only 9 months old.

Santa Claus Parade

2009-11-14T22:05:00.006-05:00

Just a few quick photos from the parade we went to tonight. Bennett wasn't too sure about the beginning of the parade - there were lots of loud sirens. He warmed up eventually and really enjoyed the music and dancing. The highlight of the evening for him were the fireworks. I wasn't sure if he would like it but he loved all the flashing lights and wasn't bothered at all by the loud noises.

Here's a short video of Bennett watching the fireworks.

2009-11-12T15:18:00.007-05:00

We've been having a stretch of beautiful fall weather here. We took advantage of it on the weekend and went for a walk in one of our local parks. Bennett had a great time and was pooped by the time we got home. In two of the pictures you can see some woman checking him out -I'm assuming it's because he's so cute in that hat. You can also see a picture of me stealing a smooch. He's pretty good at giving out kisses but sometimes I have to steal one.

Birthday Update

2009-11-09T20:44:00.003-05:00

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

A funny thing happened last night. One of my aunts who I don't have an opportunity to see very often came to share in some birthday cake. I have blogged about this aunt before - in this post about my pathetic attempt at crafting. To summarize, after showing her a centrepiece that I had spent hours creating, she asked what grade I was in when I made it - I was in university at the time.

Well, last night she asked me how old I was - 42 or 43!! Once again, the woman crushes me.....

The More Things Change....

2009-11-06T19:43:00.004-05:00

The more they stay the same - or some things I guess. We've had a couple changes around here. First of all, after 3 years we have finally removed my ramp. I had some mixed feelings about seeing it go. On the one hand it was a reminder of the car accident but on the other, it also represented my freedom - my freedom to get out of the house and my freedom to actually stay alone with my son. The ramp meant that I had a way to wheel Bennett out in an emergency as I was unable to carry him. But it's gone and now I have my front yard back.

Another big change is the replacement of Bennett's crib with a full sized bed. The idea is to transition him out of our bed and into his own. As you can see, we have mixed results. Bennett likes to sleep in the bed - as long as someone is with him and as long as it's only for a nap. So, Bennett still sleeps with us and to be perfectly honest, that's ok with me. I've got bigger things to worry about.

And finally, this is my last day as a 38 year old. Tomorrow I'll be 39 - I've been trying to forget about it - I never like the birthdays that have a 9 in them. I remember that I didn't enjoy 19 or 29. At least I get all the angst out and by the time I turn 40 it will be no big deal (at least I hope so). I am a child of the 80s - and as a special treat I leave for you the following video:

The 80s weren't that bad were they???

He's Gone Too Far

2009-11-04T08:54:00.003-05:00

I know the kid likes ketchup but this is too much. I could handle the toast dipped in ketchup but toast with peanut butter, dipped in ketchup is ridiculous - and disgusting! I could barely stand to take the picture. He ate the whole thing though.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T20:46:00.011-04:00

Bennett enjoyed Halloween a lot more this year - he actually went to about 8 houses! He was also the cutest spider I'm sure anyone has ever seen. The first three pictures show this year's jack o'lanterns. There were carved from this summer's pride and joy - 3 beautiful pumpkins grown in our garden! They are spectacular if I do say so myself! You can also see Bennett sitting on my cousin Lucy's 200 pound pumpkin and then a great shot of him with both Lucy and Henry.

Overall, a great Halloween despite the nasty weather - cold and windy. I'm not sure who had more fun - Daddy or Bennett?

H1N1

2009-10-28T18:50:00.002-04:00

Well, we did it - we were all vaccinated yesterday for the H1N1 virus. It was a bit of an ordeal that involved a long wait and Bennett being up long past his bed time but it was worth it for the peace of mind I now have. Jim and I had the full dose and Bennett had a half dose. The other half will follow in 3 weeks.

I have never had a flu shot in my life. However, something about this new virus was scaring me. I was on the fence all summer and then started leaning towards it this fall. Yesterday morning when I woke up and turned on the TV the lead story on the news was the tragic death of a healthy 12 year old boy from the H1N1 virus. That made up my mind. I'm happy to report that we're all feeling well with no side effects so far.

It seems like we're really starting to have a second wave of the flu virus in our community and we all know someone who is sick. I feel like there is only so much washing our hands can do. I just hope getting the vaccine will provide some protection and the benefits will outweigh any risks. It wasn't an easy decision but I believe for now it was the right one.

In other news, Bennett saw a pediatric orthopedic surgeon this morning from the Shriner's Hospital in Montreal. It was all good news - his hip xrays were normal and the doctor was really happy with his progress. We don't need to see him again for a year and that's ok with me! We love good news around here!

Sorry...

2009-10-25T19:17:00.003-04:00

I apologize to anyone still checking this blog for updates (probably just my mother). Time has been flying by. We're all good - just busy with life it seems. But I want to get this blog back up and running with regular posts - I certainly don't have a shortage of things to say!

We have been busy camping all fall and were the last ones to leave the park on Thanksgiving weekend. It was a bit cold at times but wonderful still. It's my favourite time of year - changing colours, crisp days, no bugs - perfect for sitting by a campfire. Bennett started his second session of the PATH program after Labour Day. He is now in the senior program and goes 3 mornings a week. He has two new therapists - OT and physio. I'm getting to know them and my first impression has been great. We do miss our old therapists though.

Murphy is doing well. He is going through his rowdy teenage phase right now and if it wasn't for Bennett getting him in trouble all the time I would say that he's the best puppy ever. He is getting very big - he's about 70 pounds of pure exuberance and love which can be a bit much at times.

Here's a video from one of weekends in our trailer - a rainy night but as you can see that didn't dampen our spirits.

Another camping video of Daddy and Bennett snuggling. You can see at the end that Bennett was getting tired of me taking his picture.

I'll be back again soon. For anyone still hanging out here - thanks for your patience!!!

Three Years

2009-09-22T22:01:00.005-04:00

This past Saturday September 19, 2009 marked the third anniversary of the car accident that changed the lives of my little family forever. Like last year we went camping and enjoyed a spectacular fall weekend. Despite the glorious weather I found myself in a melancholy if not downright grumpy mood on Saturday - very much consumed by thoughts of how things used to be and what could or should have been. Fortunately for myself and all those around me these days don't happen very often. Actually it's quite rare and I am confident that Jim would agree wholeheartedly that I seldom complain.

What if thinking is a waste of time just as dwelling on the past. Feeling sorry for oneself also accomplishes nothing. Focusing on the good stuff and putting my head down and getting to work is how I usually cope. However on this day I gave myself permission to wallow in my grief firm in my conviction that things would be better tomorrow and sure enough that is what happened. Maybe sometimes you need to take a look at and feel sad for what you've lost to truly appreciate what you still have.

I continue to have some hope for myself and am currently seeking another opinion from a fourth orthopedic surgeon. I have more hope for Bennett's future but also realize that we have years of hard work ahead. We have a lot going for us - determination and the love and support of family and friends. We'll get "there" eventually wherever that is. I know that our expectations and our destinations will change but we'll keep on trying to have as much fun as we can along the way!

*Footnote: I DO believe in accidents and I DON'T believe that all of this happened for a reason. I can respect that you may not agree but ask if that is your belief then please keep it to yourself in this case as I don't find it helpful. I believe that things happen in life - good and bad. It is what it is and you have to play the hand you're dealt. It's how you play that matters.